The Code
Chapter 2 - Body Language
Great posture begets a confident man
Great posture begets a confident man
Chapter 2 - Body Language
Body language is crucial for a classically masculine gentleman as it conveys confidence, strength, and respect. A firm handshake, upright posture, and steady eye contact project authority and reliability, while controlled, deliberate movements show self-discipline. Subtle gestures, such as a slight nod or a relaxed stance, can communicate attentiveness and calm under pressure. Being aware of your body language also allows you to read others’ intentions and emotions, fostering better communication and connection. In essence, mastering body language is a silent yet powerful way to embody poise, leadership, and genuine respect for oneself and others.
So, whether you are sitting, standing, or walking, the key is to claim your space, which is to be unapologetically big and be bold, without being toxic about it. When you enter a room, those present should take notice. Be deliberate about your body language – at first it will take thought and practice, and before long it will become second nature.
2.1 sit Big
- Plant your feet on the floor shoulder-width apart with 12 to 24 inches of space between your knees. This position exudes power and confidence; it is the modern-day way of marking your territory. Sitting this way opens the body which in-turn opens the mind. If you must cross your legs, we recommend ankle over knee if you’re in North America – completely crossing your legs with thighs touching can be seen as feminine in some regions. And under no circumstance do you cross your ankles.
- Sit tall with your back straight. Slouching or hunching over is a sign of submission and weakness. Just don’t do it. Keep your head level or tilted slightly up with a strong chin and pull your shoulders back.
- Place your elbows down by your side. Placing your arms in front of you closes your body and makes you look smaller. Crossing your arms is a no-no because it signals that you are withdrawn from any conversation. Keep your hands visible – e.g. don’t sit on them or have them in your pocket.
- Make and hold eye contact. Numerous studies have shown that men who make higher levels of eye contact with others are perceived as being more dominant and powerful; more attractive and likeable, and more trustworthy, honest, and sincere. Doing so imparts a sense of intimacy to your exchanges, and leaves the receiver of your gaze feeling more positive about your interaction and more connected to you.
- Do not fidget. Fidgeting is a major communicator of low confidence. Whether it is a leg-jiggling, twirling your pen between your fingers, a nervous finger tap, nodding excessively, or otherwise, stop it. You may not even know you fidget, so ask a friend to watch you and let you know. Sit still. Just


"There is a reason why a king sat on a throne at the end of a table."
- Code of Manhood


2.2 Stand Tall
- Stand with feet shoulder with apart. Have you ever tried doing deadlifts with your feet together? No. Because it is not stable nor strong. With your feet shoulder width apart as you stand, you are physically and symbolically less easy to push over.
- Point your feet in the same direction. This exudes assertiveness. Ideally, point them in the direction of the person to whom you address to show that he or she is your sole focus.
- Put your arms down by your side. This open body language is inviting and creates a bigger silhouette, which further allows you to claim your space.
- Keep you head level or slightly up. Keep your shoulders back and have a strong chin. This should all be ringing a bell since they are similar to the things you should do while you are sitting.
- Show your hands. Basically, just keep them out of your pocket.
- Stand straight and tall. Slouching or hunching is not only unattractive and not good for your long-term posture, but it makes you look small. Standing tall will make you look and feel more confident.
- Execute the power pose. It’s okay to practice standing with your hands on your hips with your elbows out to the side – think Superman. This power pose has been experimentally proven to increase confidence, but you might look silly if you do it all of the time. Consider keeping it to a preliminary, pre-game, ritual or when you are alone with your thoughts.
2.2 Stand Tall
- Stand with feet shoulder with apart. Have you ever tried doing deadlifts with your feet together? No. Because it is not stable nor strong. With your feet shoulder width apart as you stand, you are physically and symbolically less easy to push over.
- Point your feet in the same direction. This exudes assertiveness. Ideally, point them in the direction of the person to whom you address to show that he or she is your sole focus.
- Put your arms down by your side. This open body language is inviting and creates a bigger silhouette, which further allows you to claim your space.
- Keep you head level or slightly up. Keep your shoulders back and have a strong chin. This should all be ringing a bell.
- Show your hands. Basically, just keep them out of your pocket.
- Stand straight and tall. Slouching or hunching is not only unattractive and not good for your long-term posture, but it makes you look small. Standing tall will make you look and feel more confident.
- Execute the power pose. It’s okay to practice standing with your hands on your hips with your elbows out to the side – think Superman. This power pose has been experimentally proven to increase confidence, but you might look silly if you do it all of the time. Consider keeping it to a preliminary, pre-game, ritual or when you are alone with your thoughts.


2.3 Walk like a king
- Walk with your feet shoulder width apart. Point your feet straight ahead while you’re at it. Doing this speaks to stability and poise, which translates into and confidence.
- Keep your head high, chin up, shoulders back. Coupled with the other points in this section will make you appear confident, so much so that people several yards away from you will be able to pick up on it.
- Move your shoulders with your step. This is to say move your right shoulder forward slightly when you put your left leg forward, and vice-versa – you can call it a slight sway. Be subtle, or you’ll look foolish.
- Manage the placement of your hands. If your walking posture is poor, then keep your hands visible – walking with your hands in your pocket is a sign of low confidence, especially if your head is down. If you walk big and bold, then it is perfectly acceptable to have one hand in your pocket, but we still feel it’s best to have them both visible and down by your side.
- Walk with purpose. This one is important. Move like you know where you’re going, but don’t be hurried or appear rushed to get anywhere.
- Take big steps. This one comes into play when you enter, exit, or move about in a room. Take wide, surefooted steps with every move, rather than quick, little, frantic steps.
- Make strong eye contact. If you avert your eyes as soon as someone else is coming your way, you look weak. If by chance you lock eyes with a passerby, keep the gaze locked until he or she passes – but don’t turn your head and be creepy about it.
- Do not smile. If you want to catch a woman’s eye, don’t smile. Studies have shown that women are less attracted to smiley, happy-looking men. There’s no need to project anger or sadness, a neutral look is all you need.
- Walk beside the people you’re with. If you’re walking with the King of England, protocol dictates that you walk behind him to defer power and respect. But most of us aren’t walking with the King – we don’t want to defer any power to anybody. So make sure you walk beside the people you’re with, and if you’re expected to lead a group then you walk in front.


Be firm, yet gentle while
handling inanimate objects
Be firm, yet gentle while
handling inanimate objects
We are here to help
That is what men doIf you have any questions about how to master any of the techniques presented in this chapter, we encourage you to join the Code of Manhood online community where you can reach out and other members and the CoM editors who will be pleased to help point you in the right direction.
Lives Transformed
From the guys from slop around avoiding eye contact, to ones who walk tall and exude a confidence that inspires their fellow man.
More to Go
Together, we can transform the world for the betterment of all people and many societies, by fostering and celebrating the return of classic masculinity… one man at a time.