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The Code

Chapter 1 - Appearance

Know the value of looking your best

Know the value of looking your best

Chapter 1 - appearance

Appearance is essential for a classically masculine gentleman, as it reflects discipline, confidence, and respect for oneself and others. A well-groomed look, from tailored clothing to polished shoes, projects authority and competence. It signals attention to detail and a commitment to excellence, which are key traits in traditional masculinity. However, appearance is more than just style; it represents the gentleman’s inner values such as strength and integrity. While character ultimately defines you, maintaining a strong appearance supports these traits, reinforcing your image and helping to build trust and respect in both personal and professional settings.

Be deliberate about what you don every morning, how you look, and how you smell. Make every impression count – not just the first one. 

1.1 Dress Well

  1. Dress for the situation, but always one level higher than what is expected. Does an occasion call for a t-shirt, jeans, and runners? Then rock a pair of khakis, a polo shirt, and a chukka boot or dressy sneakers.
  2. Choose classic and timeless men’s dress over fast fashion and trends. Dress down the middle of fashion – nothing excessively baggy and nothing too tight. Keep the style subtle and clean.
  3. Own at least three pairs of proper, high-quality dress shoes. We recommend a classic oxford, brogue, and it’s okay if one is a boot. Ideally they are finished in black, dark brown, and tan brown. And keep these shoes spotlessly clean.  
  4. Match your shoe colour to your belt colour – no exceptions if you are wearing dress shoes. It must be an exact match, close doesn’t count. It is better to remove your belt than to wear one that is mismatched in a dressy setting.
  5. Do not wear a pocket square and a lapel flower at the same time. Choose one, otherwise it can look contrived and busy. Subtleness is key in making an impression. Pocket square should be haphazardly inserted into your jacket pocket – not as though it was placed with the help of a level and tape measure.
  6. Your pocket square should NOT be the identical material from which your tie is made. If your tie is solid, try and use a patterned square and vice-versa. The major colour of the square should pull from the colour of the tie. 
  7. Be careful with patterns. Ideally, you will pair a solid bottom with a patterned top (or vice-versa). If you must wear both with patterns, make sure the pattern (on one piece) is very subtle. Do not wear a solid pant and solid dress shirt that are the same colour (or close in colour) – it can give off a “uniform” vibe. And please avoid wearing two very bold patterns, because that gives off an Elton John vibe. 
  8. Own at least one good quality wristwatch, but ideally a few. A blue-faced stainless watch goes well with pretty much any sort of men’s dress. Another solid option is a leather-strapped piece of wrist jewelry.
  9. Match your dress socks with your dress pants. That’s right, do not match your socks to your shoes. The main colour from your socks should pull from your pants. Forget the bright and overly-colourful socks – keep it classy. 
From a plain white t-shirt to a black tux and everything in between - it is not what you wear, but how you wear it.



"If you want to know if a man is well-dressed... just look down"
- Unknown



"If you want to know if a man is well-dressed... just look down"
- Unknown

Idris Elba. The image on the right accentuates his masculinity. Notice how he embraced the grey.
If you don't have a grooming kit similar to what's shown here, go and get one and make it your friend.

1.2 Groom Impeccably

  1. Maintain some form of facial hair (if your job allows it). Studies have shown that women find men with facial hair more attractive and masculine than those who are clean shaven. The most attractive facial hair is moderate to heavy stubble. 
  2. Become a regular at your barber. If you’ve noticed your hair needs a trim, then others have too. Keep your hair classic with a style that suits you. Keep your hair and beard neatly-trimmed. Get rid of the neck beard.
  3. Use product in your hair and beard that works for you. One size does not fit all. For thicker, unruly hair, pomades and waxes are for you. The finer-headed should lean to lighter products.
  4. Keep your skin moisturized. Men, let’s face it: we often overlook our skin. In the shower we sometimes use shampoo, soap, or anything we grab and use it for our entire body. Don’t cut corners. A post-shower lotion session is a must. Don’t forget to scrub that face.
  5. Find two signature scents and stick to them. We recommend one for fall and winter that is more earthy, woody, and warm; the other for spring and summer that is lighter and brighter with hints of citrus. Do not overuse cologne. One spray on one wrist, rub wrists together, and then rub wrists on your neck. Spraying below your waist is not a gentlemanly thing to do.
  6. Take care of your teeth and dental hygiene. Use whitening toothpaste and over-the-counter tooth whitening strips if required. Remember, a bright smile is a confident smile.
  7. Put your best feet forward. They might not show that often, but when they do you don’t want hammertime. Best time for foot care is after a shower or bath when the skin is still soft which is a perfect time to use a pumice stone to smooth things out. We find petroleum jelly keeps the feet non-dry between cleanings. Keep the nails trimmed.
  8. Nail your hand-care routine. Cutting your nails once a week to 10 days is a must. But don’t forget about that rough, flaky skin around the nail bed. Keep that area trimmed and moisturized as well. 
  9. Embrace any grey hair. Whether it be in your beard or on your head, grey hair is a symbol of wisdom and will elevate your elegance a few notches. Think George Clooney. Don’t fight the grey!

1.2 Groom Impeccably

  1. Maintain some form of facial hair (if your job allows it). Studies have shown that women find men with facial hair more attractive and masculine than those who are clean shaven. The most attractive facial hair is moderate to heavy stubble. 
  2. Become a regular at your barber. If you’ve noticed your hair needs a trim, then others have too. Keep your hair classic with a style that suits you. Keep your hair and beard neatly-trimmed. Get rid of the neck beard.
  3. Use product in your hair and beard that works for you. One size does not fit all. For thicker, unruly hair, pomades and waxes are for you. The finer-headed should lean to lighter products.
  4. Keep your skin moisturized. Men, let’s face it: we often overlook our skin. In the shower we sometimes use shampoo, soap, or anything we grab and use it for our entire body. Don’t cut corners. A post-shower lotion session is a must. Don’t forget to scrub that face.
  5. Find two signature scents and stick to them. We recommend one for fall and winter that is more earthy, woody, and warm; the other for spring and summer that is lighter and brighter with hints of citrus. Do not overuse cologne. One spray on one wrist, rub wrists together, and then rub wrists on your neck. Spraying below your waist is not a gentlemanly thing to do.
  6. Take care of your teeth and dental hygiene. Use whitening toothpaste and over-the-counter tooth whitening strips if required. Remember, a bright smile is a confident smile.
  7. Put your best feet forward. They might not show that often, but when they do you don’t want hammertime. Best time for foot care is after a shower or bath when the skin is still soft which is a perfect time to use a pumice stone to smooth things out. We find petroleum jelly keeps the feet non-dry between cleanings. Keep the nails trimmed.
  8. Nail your hand-care routine. Cutting your nails once a week to 10 days is a must. But don’t forget about that rough, flaky skin around the nail bed. Keep that area trimmed and moisturized as well. 
  9. Embrace any grey hair. Whether it be in your beard or on your head, grey hair is a symbol of wisdom and will elevate your elegance a few notches. Think George Clooney. Don’t fight the grey!
Idris Elba. The image on the right accentuates his masculinity. Notice how he embraced the grey.
If you don't have a grooming kit similar to what's shown here, go and get one and make it your friend.

You don't have to be an adult
to dress like a gentleman

You don't have to be an adult
to dress like
a gentleman

We are here to help

That is what men do

If you have any questions about how to master any of the techniques presented in this chapter, we encourage you to join the Code of Manhood online community where you can reach out and other members and the CoM editors who will be pleased to help point you in the right direction. 

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Lives Transformed

From the frumpy, sweats-wearing dudes rocking the Crocs and socks, to refined gentlemen who dress the way they want to be addressed.

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More to Go

Together, we can transform the world for the betterment of all people and many societies, by fostering and celebrating the return of classic masculinity… one man at a time. 

Chivalry. Respect. Integrity. Without compromise.

"A man does what he must. The circumstances are irrelevant." - Chad Howse

"A man does what he must. The circumstances are irrelevant." - Chad Howse

Our Mission

To save the troubled state of masculinity by fostering and celebrating the return of the confident, sophisticated, gentleman of refined elegance… one man at a time.

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