Skip to content Skip to footer

The Code

Chapter 4 - Confidence

Always remain calm and composed, no matter the circumstance.

Always remain calm and composed, no matter the circumstance.

Chapter 4 - Confidence

We define masculine confidence as the ability to project your presence and will into the external world in a way that commands respect and broadcasts a mental grounding and competence. 

A sure-footed confidence enables you to face challenges with poise, make decisive choices, and lead with integrity. Confidence inspires respect and trust, allowing you to navigate social and professional settings effectively. It’s not about arrogance but rather a calm belief in your abilities and values. 

In romantic relationships, confidence creates stability and security, demonstrating that you are dependable and capable, which are timeless attributes of a true masculine, classic, gentleman.

After you’ve galvanized your inner self-confidence, display it to the world in a way that is respectful and polite, yet in a manner that is bold, assertive, and unapologetic.

4.1 confidence Mindset

  1. Know where you’re going. Have a distinct presence of visionary thinking. This means that you must know where you are going or at least where you want to go in life and do whatever it takes in order to get there.
  2. Take action. As a confident man, you must be action-oriented. You are not passive. You must put the wheels in motion towards doing what you want to accomplish in life. You do not wait around for conditions to be favourable, you will create those conditions if need be.
  3. Dedicate to self-improvement. Continuous personal progression is the name of the game for male self-confidence – you must understand this. Always seek ways to improve the various aspects of your life and become the best you can be your yourself, your community, and the word at large.
  4. Do not be neurotic. Neuroticism is a general overview of how someone experiences negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, shame, etc. In general, men tend to be less neurotic than woman partially due to the influence of testosterone on general male physiology and psychology. With a lower neuroticism, then more you can express your most authentic self, and a confident man does not hide the way he is. Be authentic.
  5. Build your life on values and principles. One of the main reasons you may lack confidence is because you have built your psychological foundation on things that are not stable – these include trends, validation from others, the “news” of the day, and so on. All of these are transient and will eventually change at some point. To build confidence, construct your worldview on things that are true most of the time and in almost all situations.
Masculine confidence is all about mindset.
Masculine confidence is all about mindset.

4.1 confidence Mindset

  1. Know where you’re going. Have a distinct presence of visionary thinking. This means that you must know where you are going or at least where you want to go in life and do whatever it takes in order to get there.
  2. Take action. As a confident man, you must be action-oriented. You are not passive. You must put the wheels in motion towards doing what you want to accomplish in life. You do not wait around for conditions to be favourable, you will create those conditions if need be.
  3. Dedicate to self-improvement. Continuous personal progression is the name of the game for male self-confidence – you must understand this. Always seek ways to improve the various aspects of your life and become the best you can be your yourself, your community, and the word at large.
  4. Do not be neurotic. Neuroticism is a general overview of how someone experiences negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, shame, etc. In general, men tend to be less neurotic than woman partially due to the influence of testosterone on general male physiology and psychology. With a lower neuroticism, then more you can express your most authentic self, and a confident man does not hide the way he is. Be authentic.
  5. Build your life on values and principles. One of the main reasons you may lack confidence is because you have built your psychological foundation on things that are not stable – these include trends, validation from others, the “news” of the day, and so on. All of these are transient and will eventually change at some point. To build confidence, construct your worldview on things that are true most of the time and in almost all situations.

A masculine confident man is like a mountain -
big, bold, calm, and unapologetic with an assertive presence.

A masculine confident man is like a
mountain -
big, bold, calm, and unapologetic with an assertive presence.

4.2 Overcoming Paradigms

  1. Don’t be a people pleaser. If you want true self-confidence, you will not find it in the opinions of other people. Many men still look to others for approval so that they can feel positive about themselves. Stop this immediately.
  2.  Others do not know better than you. This is typically a worldview that stems from childhood when you were told to, “sit down and shut up because other people know better than you.” In adulthood it manifests as deferring to other people, and just believing that they are “better” than you. Develop your own reference experiences and blueprint for life. Forget the others and what they think.
  3. Overcome over-apologizing. This is yet again another mindset that may have been fostered in childhood. It is the belief that if you do something that is offensive to someone in some way, you must apologize. While apologies are necessary in specific cases, doing it repeatedly when they are not warranted makes you seem like a doormat. A confident man is unapologetic. 

4.3 Confidence Toolset

  1. Develop Assertiveness. Self-confident and masculinely confident men are assertive. End of story. Done. Many “nice guys” struggle with asserting themselves. so this is a primary area to start improving if you want to develop true confidence.
  2. Stop being a loser. Everybody knows what a loser is. If you consider yourself to be a loser, we truly hope this is your last day as one. There are a whole suite of behaviours and mindsets that are associated with being a loser, but at the end of the day, nobody wants to be associated with one. Dismantle this “loser” concept if you want to achieve true inner and outward confidence.

4.4 composure

  1. Be bold. To be bold means to not hesitate or be full of fear in the face of actual or possible danger. It is to be courageous and daring. Strive to be this way.
  2. Be unapologetic. If you have hurt somebody and you are sorry, then apologize – that’s what real men do. But if a situation does not warrant an apology, then why do it? Too many men nowadays apologize for every little thing for which a “pardon me” or “excuse me” will more than suffice. 
  3. Remain calm. A classically masculine man always remains calm, even in situations when most people will panic. This demonstration of strength will take you a long way. 
  4. Face who you’re talking to.  A man who faces the person he is speaking to and makes good eye contact as he speaks, is considered more charismatic, charming, and confident because these are signs of giving someone your full attention.
  5. Never complain. It makes you come across as weak and feminine. Don’t even complain to yourself. Honestly, but this out and watch your life change for the better.
  6. Stop the nervous gestures. Whether you tap your foot, bite your nails, pick at your nails, click your pen, pace about, or generally just fidget about, stop it. When interacting with people, fidgeting gives off vibes of nervousness – they indicate that you are stressed. Even if you are stressed, don’t let it show through nervous gestures.
  7. Stop the gossip. A masculine man does not entertain gossip, so just don’t do it. It not only makes you appear weak, but there’s absolutely no point to it.
  8. Tell the truth. Even it it hurts you or others. A masculine gentleman is a man of his word. 
Maintain your emotional control, no matter how you feel.
Maintain your emotional control, no matter how you feel.

4.4 composure

  1. Be bold. To be bold means to not hesitate or be full of fear in the face of actual or possible danger. It is to be courageous and daring. Strive to be this way.
  2. Be unapologetic. If you have hurt somebody and you are sorry, then apologize – that’s what real men do. But if a situation does not warrant an apology, then why do it? Too many men nowadays apologize for every little thing for which a “pardon me” or “excuse me” will more than suffice. 
  3. Remain calm. A classically masculine man always remains calm, even in situations when most people will panic. This demonstration of strength will take you a long way. 
  4. Face who you’re talking to.  A man who faces the person he is speaking to and makes good eye contact as he speaks, is considered more charismatic, charming, and confident because these are signs of giving someone your full attention.
  5. Never complain. It makes you come across as weak and feminine. Don’t even complain to yourself. Honestly, but this out and watch your life change for the better.
  6. Stop the nervous gestures. Whether you tap your foot, bite your nails, pick at your nails, click your pen, pace about, or generally just fidget about, stop it. When interacting with people, fidgeting gives off vibes of nervousness – they indicate that you are stressed. Even if you are stressed, don’t let it show through nervous gestures.
  7. Stop the gossip. A masculine man does not entertain gossip, so just don’t do it. It not only makes you appear weak, but there’s absolutely no point to it.
  8. Tell the truth. Even it it hurts you or others. A masculine gentleman is a man of his word. 



"A masculine confident man and lion share strength, presence, assertiveness, composure, protectiveness, and leadership."
- Code of Manhood

We are here to help

That is what men do

There is no such thing as a perfect gentleman. But every man can try and achieve that status, and in doing so will become a better man.

If you have specific questions about any of the rules of conduct in the Code of Manhood, we encourage you to join the Code of Manhood online community where you can reach out to other members or our editors and we'll be more than happy to point you in the right direction.

0 +
Lives Transformed

From the low self-esteem, timid, immature boys who complain often and blame others, to bold, confident, poised gentlemen who know exactly what they want who get after it. 

0 +
Faces getting stubbly

A number of our members have told us that they taken their masculinity to the next level by no longer being clean shaven.

Chivalry. Respect. Integrity. Without compromise.

"A man does what he must. The circumstances are irrelevant." - Chad Howse

"A man does what he must. The circumstances are irrelevant." - Chad Howse

Our Mission

To save the troubled state of masculinity by fostering and celebrating the return of the confident, sophisticated, gentleman of refined elegance… one man at a time.

Headquarters

Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
London, England, UK Kingdom

Get In Touch

© 2025 Code of Manhood, brought to you by The Renaud Group. All Rights Reserved. 

Go to Top